Your mind makes interesting mathematics as you aged. I have persistent nausea thinking about how quickly the last twenty years passed. Months before my 40th birthday last year, I continued to calculate:
If the next twenty years pass as fast as the previous one, then I have sixty and we mean that I am basically eighty.
Time x Speed = Life
I felt like a natural cardboard cut of the new Millennial Medium Age crisis.
For my horror, I kept writing through my disorientation. I felt like a woman walking on the table. Everyone told me that life was just beginning, but I could not shake the feeling that I was sliding through my fingers every day, and I had no power to stop him.
While my sense of self -control around me, I saw that the lie focuses:
They told us that we could be anyone and anything we would like.
But the options are endless and time is limited.
It will never join enough.
Facing what my mathematics revealed about me, and the truth of time and speed, I saw that my crisis told me how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I put on my big girl pants, I turned to the secrets that I had carefully put under my pillow at night and let them in light.
That’s when a new anti -read the lie:
You have everything you need inside you.
You are complete. You are enough.
I was not desperate for a decrease in darkness. I longed for an experience that I had denied me to Myelf. Life was not about surviving and becoming. It was to be whole and feel human and leave space for joy, desire, delight, pleasure, connection, love and astonishment.
Life was just beginning, and was learning to reduce speed and enjoy it.
Looking for slowness when life accelerates
In the midst of this call to slowness, my life is accelerating. There will never be a busiest life season. My children are blooming in themselves, and with this comes friends, hobbies, sports and memories that will be done as a family. Joe is entering a season of his career where Hey to try his limits, grow in himself and see what is possible when his talent decreased.
Me too. Today I am full of energy to put in the world.
What does one do when the fullness of life threatens to sweep the ability to savor life itself?
I am moving forward to reduce speed daily, when everything turns around me. I have firm small, with the smallest adjustments. Today, I write about why decelerating me so much and how I am practicing the deployment in this busy season of life.
Why slow me care
I’m tired. That was one of the great secrets I had put under my pillow. Life is busy and I no longer have the energy to swell and encourage. However, what I can do is reduce enough speed to notice when I need to rest.
The dichotomy of being tired and having a renewed sense of purpose in life is fascinating. It’s like learning to tame a new child or beast, one who responds to tenderness instead of dominating alpha control. Life is busy, doing things that do things and also enjoy issues. So how do you see the balance? How can you decelerate even in a busy life season?
I don’t have a perfect system. But I am not willing to “keep up to date” or feel a generalized sense of fault. Instead, I have a values -based approach, a will to continue practicing thesis and a lot of forgiveness for me. Because I’m tired. And I’m alive.
How to reduce speed: 7 ways in which I am slowing down in an occupied life season
1. tune in physical signals.
When I hurry to life, I realize that my rhythm is reflected through physical signals in my body. Some examples include:
- A closed jaw
- Short and superficial breaths and finding that it is not natural to breathe deeply
- A grip tight on the steering wheel when I drive
- Snuggled sholders while feeling
- Awkward and release things
By practicing the bullet, the most important thing for me is to gently notice and redirect these physical responses. I will dislike my jaw, I breathe some slow and deep breaths, loosen my grip on the steering wheel and I feel straight with relaxed shoulders. Keep in mind that your physical responses to the hustle can be different from mine. Tune in what they are for you and slowly begins to redirect them.
2. Monotask.
All my life, I have tended to perform multiple tasks. At a time last month, I was flan, writing an invitation and sending text messages to people at the same time. When I hurry to life and I do multiple things at the same time, I feel more stressed and it is much more likely to make mistakes.
Now, when I realize the multitasking, I try to redirect. I stop, I choose a thing in which to concentrate and go to the following, I have finished with that.
3. Download my expectations.
Even when I have made the deceleration a priority, I still felt that I should be able to meet the same expectations as when I hastened my life. When I logically think about it, I know this is impossible.
I still have to improve the art of establishing expectations, but I am trying to be more honest with myself. I am trying to communicate what is feasible with people in my life. When I do not do everything, I am trying not to get stressed for that. Most of the time, you can wait.
As I wrote in a recent publication of the house of the house, “when I can’t hurry everything, I have to do less, and do less means that I have to know what is important.” This takes me to my next point:
4. Grant in what is more important.
There are still things that must be done every day, either for my work or personal life. I have always had a tendency to postpone when I feel too rejected, which only leads to stress and hurried future. I am doing what I can to change this trend. Instead of avoiding it, I am learning to sit with the impulse to postpone and the discomfort of doing difficult things.
When I feel exaggerated, I find it useful to achieve a small and easy task. This little achievement gives me a bit of dopamine impulse, ignites the impulse and makes me feel able to do something else. Then I will move on to a bigger and high priority task and give myself the right time (more than I think I will need) to complete it. By giving me the time and space to complete the important instead of avoiding it completely, I worry about my current and future self.
5. Remove the filling.
I am better able to reduce the speed in my daily life when I have more time left over. Decrease in the amount of time that I am going through distractions, such as the response to the text message and moving on my phone, makes a slower pace of living plausible.
I have also turned ruthless about what I really enjoy consuming. I will choose to sit in silence instead of listening to a podcast. I have noticed that most television programs on Netflix are not worth it.
But it’s about what you want. No one can tell you what you like.
So be selective about what entertains you. If devour reality TV is a restorative, prioritize it. If you feel like a distraction, let it go. Only you can be honest with yourself about what you call your beautiful attention. I wonder as if it were yours.
6. Accept my humanity.
Acceptance My humanity is a crucial step to give me the grace to reduce speed. I had a two -week stretch recently when I made more fog more than usual, with repercussions to my pride and family, and made me come true.
I can hit me with mistakes, but it doesn’t make me special, broken or different from anyone.
FuckingA lot-It is part of life. It is something we all share.
It is also one of the best ways to connect with people. In the absence of perfection and optimization, we have the opportunity to connect about what it means to be human. We tend to believe that we will be rejected if we open about our lived experience, but it is or not the case.
Yes, people judge, and honestly, there is no better way to find out who you need to start from your internal circle, but there are many people (the ones you probably want to maintain) who will feel seen and validated through your mistakes. The deceleration has helped me to break the self-delay cycle and opened opportunities to deepen my relationships.
7. Establish interpersonal limits.
The deceleration requires saying “no” sometimes. One of the ways in which I have had to establish limits in this season of life, that is, not to travel around the holidays. This is uncomfortable. I don’t like. But when we are honest with others about our limitations, we are being children. We are saying I want to be with you when I can * be * with you. Not as a complement, extra or obligation. No one chicken that.
With the people closest to us, it can be difficult and uncomfortable to establish limits. But you abandon the truth of your experience when you say “yes” to everything. We believe that this is selfless, but in doing so, we do not allow the people who love us support us in the way we need to be supported.
Time is curious. Grinding when life accelerates feels terrifying. That is until you realize that there is more life to live when you are there to experience it completely.
Kate is the founder of White & Delight. He is currently learning to play tennis and is forever Try the limits of your creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram on @witanddeelight_.
